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Surfacing a Compartment
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When we are open, our fragments/compartments are allowed to come to the surface. As they come to the surface, they bring many things with them relating to the specific subconscious pattern that created that fragment/compartment.
There are three main things they bring with them:
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Fear
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Emotions
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Thought Patterns/Defense Mechanisms
Therefore, when we talk about being open to these unloved parts of ourselves, we are referring to:
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Openness to being present with our fears
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Openness to feeling all emotions (especially "bad" emotions)
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Openness to surrendering defense mechanisms
As a compartment comes to the surface, there is no telling what you may encounter or in what order you may encounter them. This depends on the way you programmed yourself to reject this part of yourself. You may experience a different mix of fear, emotions, and thought patterns each time. You may notice them in a different order each time.
Regardless of what you notice, it is very helping to practice breathing into whatever you notice. This refers to the act of being present with your breath regardless of where your attention goes. You will likely be attached to whatever fears, emotions, and thought patterns that surface. Therefore, be present with your breath as you breathe directly into these things.
Despite the variance in what you may experience, there are some common themes.
Releasing Anger/Hatred
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If the compartment that we are surfacing contains a subconscious pattern that contains many defense mechanisms (blame), it is very likely that we will experience anger/hatred.
If you feel angry, it typically means that some part of yourself is coming to the surface.
Since anger is a form of rejection, it consists of the same three aspects as rejection:
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Fear (Anger is always fear-based)
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Sadness (Anger guards against sadness)
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A defense mechanism (Anger is designed to protect us from pain)
In this way, releasing anger is as simple as:
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Being present with your fear/anxiety
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Feeling your sadness without judgment
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Surrendering your defense mechanisms (fight-or-flight)
If you can do all three at the same time, you will release anger every time without even needing to act it out. However, it can be helpful to act out your anger, especially if you judged your anger as bad for a long time. If you do feel like you need to act it out, it is very beneficial to find a healthy outlet that does not harm others! Anger is often stored in the physical body. Therefore, doing some kind of physical activity like dancing, exercise, or even punching your pillows can help get that stagnant energy out!
We can define hatred as an extreme form of rejection. It could also be seen as projecting your anger outwards (or onto yourself).
When we believe that we hate something, we are attempting to blame something for our surfaced anger. If this blame succeeds, we can successfully control (suppress) our anger by controlling what we are blaming for our anger.
Often times, we do this by cutting off the person we blame for our anger. In this way, we are also attempting to cut off the part of our self that is angry.
When our own anger/self-hatred is being projected toward others, we stand little chance in resolving it. Therefore, the first step to dealing with hatred is recognizing when you are projecting it outwards.
Once you stop projecting it outwards, the anger will appear to be directed toward yourself. Specifically, it will be directed toward a certain part of yourself that you have rejected. This is still blame, and it is still distorting the anger.
In order to resolve this, let go of identifying with the anger! You do not need to direct the anger anywhere or at anyone. You can just be angry in the present moment without judgment.
At this point, you can release anger similarly to how you would release rejection. Simply be present with its three components: The underlying fear, the underlying sadness, and the defense mechanism.
As you do this, you will realize that the part of yourself that you are trying to blame for why you feel angry is actually angry because you keep trying to silence and suppress it!
As you notice this, try to open your heart to this part of yourself.
This allows this part of you to come to the surface in the present.
As always, remember to breathe!
Depression/Suicidal Feelings
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If the subconscious pattern contained in the compartment contains a lot of pent up emotions, it is common to experience deep, intense sadness. This sadness is due to the continual accumulation of pent up emotions that are never released. We often label this sadness as depression.
We can start to release this sadness by being mindful of it without judgment. This means being present with all of the sadness no matter what.
Be mindful of all intentions to suppress or avoid feeling the sadness. Do not judge yourself for these desires or intentions.
If you do judge these desires or intentions, you will reinforce the cycle of suppression. You will also identify with the desires/intentions. You will start to associate that sadness with your idea of life. When that happens, we typically start to feel like life is not worth living. However, it simply means that our idea of what it means to be alive is so depressing, we would rather not be alive.
Remember, even the desire to end suffering through ending your life is also an attempt at reaching one's idea of happiness. Do not judge suicidal thoughts or desires. The more you judge them, the more liberating it will seem to actually act them out. Instead, simply be mindful of them without judgment. As you do this, you will start to be able to observe the thought patterns driving your suicidal thoughts/desires.
Ending your life does not actually solve anything. If you are living life in such a sad way that you feel like life is no longer worth living, perhaps you should just try to live it differently. Perhaps, you should let go of the oppressive limiting beliefs that you hold over yourself.
As you first feel this sadness, it is a sign that you are entering or are about to enter a compartment.
Anxiety/Panic Attacks
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Anxiety attacks are another common symptom for when unlovable parts of yourself come to the surface. We can define an anxiety attack as a sudden surfacing of pent up anxiety.
An anxiety attack can be defined as consisting of three parts:
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An underlying fear
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Judgment of that fear
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The desire to push that fear away (a defense mechanism)
(These layers are very similar to the layers of rejection).
When you have an anxiety attack, you typically realize it because you notice anxiety. However, we often miss the judgment of that anxiety/fear as well as the desire to push it away. If you can be mindful of the desire to push away the fear that you judge, you can release all of the anxiety successfully in a great catharsis. As you do this, the compartment storing the anxiety will likely come to the surface in the present.
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Often times, we attempt to fight the surfacing anxiety with judgmental thoughts. When we do this, a panic attack typically occurs. A panic attack can be described as an anxiety attack followed by a cycle of judgment. As the individual judges the anxiety and attempts to fight it off, the anxiety appears to become "stronger". As the anxiety appears to become "stronger", the individual may intensify their judgmental reaction. This creates a cycle.
In order to resolve panic attacks, watch yourself fight your anxiety without judgment. As you do this, you can release the desire to fight your anxiety. When you surrender to being present with your anxiety, it will be released.
Remember to breathe!
Appreciating Triggers
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It is ideal to put your conscious intent toward being open in order to surface the unloved parts of ourselves. However, this can be difficult when you are first learning to resolve subconscious patterns.
Instead, the unloved parts of ourselves often come to the surface unexpectedly due to manifestations in our external reality. When this happens, our initial reaction typically involves finding a way to blame something in our external reality to re-suppress it. This is called projection, or blaming things in your external reality to manipulate uncomfortable feelings away. We may often do this in an extreme way (anger/hatred).
In reality, the thing that you want to blame for your feelings is simply a "trigger" for those feelings. For some reason, the "trigger" redirects your awareness to a weakness in your belief system/programming that allows those feelings to surface. When this happens, your initial reaction is to reinforce the current programming. In this way, triggers show us our subconscious programming that prevents us from loving ourselves fully.
In order to successfully surface compartments to deprogram the subconscious patterns inside of them, it is important to practice appreciating your triggers instead of continually blaming them! Over time, the time it takes you to release your blame toward the trigger will decrease.
Embodying the Element of Air
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The element of air represents openness. With openness, we can integrate into your conscious awareness what we think of as wisdom, playfulness, perspective of the bigger picture, and compassion.
Key Question: What about me is so unacceptable that it makes me unlovable?
Key Words: Love, Acceptance, Rejection, Hatred, Anger, Identity Issues, False Identity, Mask, Multiple Personalities, Living a Lie, Heart Chakra, Unity
Symptoms of Blockage: Feeling sudden uncomfortable feelings or anger, lacking key personality characteristics, feeling of being watched, loneliness (being uncomfortable with your own presence), routine addictions, being mindless throughout the day, feeling stuck
Goal: Love yourself. Love one another. Feel and release your rejection. Accept yourself the way you are. Accept your behaviors and emotions the way they are.
Key Ideas:
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When we reject ourselves, we reject both “good” and “bad” things. Do not be afraid of what lies inside the compartment. There are a lot of things to love in there.
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It is okay to be angry. Your anger is rooted in a fear that you do not understand yet.
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It is okay that you act the way you do. Those behaviors are motivated by emotions that you don’t understand yet.
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It is okay that you feel the way you do. Those feelings are rooted in memories that you have yet to understand yet.
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Until you acknowledge and accept the situation as it is, you won’t be able to understand it and do something about it.
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Acceptance is a key component of loving yourself and others.
Other Tips:
When we learn to love and accept others, we learn to love and accept the part of ourselves that they mirror. In this way, learning to spread love toward others is a great way to work through rejection issues.
Typically, the most difficult part of this layer is being aware of when a subconscious compartment is surfacing. If you struggle being present throughout the day, it is suggested you practice meditation more. Remember that it is more effective to meditate more deeply than more often (quality over quantity).
Is there someone or something you hate? Hatred is a strong emotion and almost always points to a part of yourself you are rejecting. If you can learn to accept that person or thing as they are, you will find peace.
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