Updated: Apr 23, 2020
I have been trying to understand "rebellious" behavior lately.
I had some friends over at my place, and we did a group activity in which we wrote words on the board that reminded us of the "rebellious" part of ourselves (black).
I then wrote common themes from the board and our conversations (red).
Finally, I wrote some phrases said aloud in green.
The last thing I wrote was "Not Normal", which was the last piece of the puzzle.
Rebellious behavior often becomes destructive because the individual is fixated on rebellion as a form of freedom.
What kind of freedom is this?
This is the freedom of being ourselves.
I realized that the more we control ourselves with beliefs about how we should be, the more some part of ourselves tries to rebel against these controlling beliefs.
Even if our beliefs about how we should be are beneficial, this part of our self will still revolt against those beliefs. If you believe that you should stop drinking or smoking, some part of you will develop a strong desire to do those things.
Typically, we misunderstand these desires. In this situation, we may start to think that we genuinely like to smoke or drink. In actuality, these desires are simply a desire for freedom from our controlling beliefs. We typically even experience excitement at the thought of these desires. This is understandable. The thought of freedom from control can be very exciting.
How do we resolve this?
Let go of ALL BELIEFS about how you MUST BE.
Let go of ALL BELIEFS about how you MUST FEEL.
Let go of ALL BELIEFS about what you MUST DO.
Let go of ALL BELIEFS about what is ACCEPTABLE.
We hold onto these beliefs because we are afraid that these are the only ways we can love ourselves.
Time and time again, we are so attached to our very specific way of loving ourselves at the expense of actually loving ourselves unconditionally.
When I heard that last puzzle piece of "not normal", I realized that our most unique version of our self was rebelling against all of the ways in which we conform to society to fit in.
The more you control/suppress yourself in order to fit in, the more some part of you will desperately resist this unfair, unjust oppression. It will start to do anything to be heard.
This can also be mirrored by the protests around the world. Collectively, we are fighting to be heard, but we are also failing to listen to ourselves.
How long must we continue to reject our true nature? How long must we aggressively oppress our most unique self?
Personally, I am done suppressing my unique self. I am amazed at how unique I am as an individual.
I hope you can be amazed with your uniqueness, too.